So all my blog posts have been pretty much rainbows and butterfly’s…until now.
Life really is great in Nashville.
I have an unbelievable job.
I live in a beautiful apartment.
I am meeting so many cool people.
I have gotten to listen to some amazing music and discover lots of new artists to love.
I really do love my life here!
It’s so hard.
From the very moment I moved down here and started my job and started talking to clients, I’ve constantly been told how brave I am. Even before I moved, people were telling me how proud they were and how they would never be able to do what I am doing. Do not get me wrong, I am SO grateful for these kind words, I just want to be honest with myself and everybody reading this.
Yes, I packed up my life and left everything I’ve known my whole life behind and moved 8 hours from home.
That’s always the kicker. That’s when I get the “Wow! That’s amazing. You’re so brave!” response.
But! HUGE ‘but’ here.
I DID NOT DO THIS ALONE.
Yes, you read that right and just so you can be sure, I’ll write it again.
I DID NOT DO THIS ALONE.
I’ve got God.
And let me tell you, I have never had to put more faith in Him than I have in these past few months.
From the moment I decided to hit ‘send’ on an email with my resume attached to a salon in Nashville, to the countless nights I’ve laid in bed staring at my ceiling trying to figure out what’s next.
I know just how completely insane that makes me sound. What’s next? I’m sure some of you are thinking ‘Steph, you’re crazy. You just got there. Why are you already thinking about what’s next?’ And if you are thinking that, well then, I’m right there with you.
I have a lot of time to think here. As busy as it can get around me, I still come home to an empty apartment every night, which makes for a lot of “me time”. If any of you know me well at all, that means I do a lot of thinking.
I’ve always been somebody who has goals. I like goals. It gives me something to work towards and once I reach that goal, I have something to be proud of. For possibly the first time in my life, or at least in my adult life, I don’t have a goal. This is terrifying to me. For the past year, my goal has been Nashville. I didn’t know when it would happen or how, but I knew I wanted to be here and I knew I was going to make it happen. Well, I did.
So now what?
Now I trust. I have absolutely NO idea where I’m going next. I have no goal. I am simply putting my faith in God and trusting that He knows what He is doing and where He’s taking me. Which, again, if you know me at all, you know I like to be in control. I like knowing what’s coming next. I like plans. I like security. I think most of us do. It makes us feel safe and who doesn’t want to feel safe?
The amount of things in my life that lined up so perfectly for me to be where I am right now, those are the reasons I know I am where I am supposed to be right now. That’s why I have peace. That’s why I know I made the right decision in coming down here.
Why did I decide to write this today? I’ll tell ya.
2 days ago (November 14), I opened the Bible app on my phone and looked at my verse of the day.
It was around 2:30am and I had been laying in bed tossing and turning for the past 3 hours.
The verse was Jeremiah 29:11.
A very popular verse that many of us know off the top of our heads.
For any of you that don’t…
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
This verse always helps give me a sense of peace. A calming reassurance that I’m not in this alone and even when I don’t, He knows what He’s doing.
I took a deep breath and feel asleep within a half hour after reading this.
But that’t not all.
I was about to go to bed last night and grabbed my computer to check social media one last time, because of course I had to know what had happened since I had checked it 5 minutes before. (Guilty)
Next thing I knew, I was reading my old tweets from this time last year and then, this.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future #faith
Note the date. November 14, 2014. I’m a big believer in everything happening for a reason and coincidences sometimes really do mean something.
To sum up all of this rambling and the countless bunny trails I just led you on.
Put your trust in God.
He knows what He is doing!
Even on the days/nights that I am terrified not knowing what is coming next for me, I have to have faith.
My faith, even the times when I have my doubts, is what keeps me going.
Call me brave or strong or confident, I am SO thankful to be considered any one of those words, but I am just a person in this big crazy world just as confused as any other 23 year old girl.
I just have God on my side.
I know I’m in great hands.
I know I have said this many times already, but I am going to say it again because I truly can’t say it enough.
To everybody supporting me on this adventure,
THANK YOU. SO MUCH.
You are also a huge reason I am where I am.
I have such an amazing support system behind me.
Ya’ll are wonderful.
And with that, I love you, I miss you, and I can’t wait to come visit soon!